Sunday Samplers are a “lightning round” of different subjects, none of which really warrant a full post, that have popped into my head over the course of the past week. They may or may not be regular weekly posts.
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Originally, this had been a series of reactions in the lightning-squared round, but I decided to delete those and ruminate a little further cuz I think it’s worth discussing. It has me thinking about two related questions over & over for the past week.
What compels people to share every aspect of their lives online, especially the stuff that basic decorum would suggest that you should keep private? Also, how do you react when you learn something so image-damaging about someone you considered decent that you can’t fathom they’d have sunk so low?
Let’s tackle the second question first, because it’ll make a good segway into the first one. Y’see, in the past few months, a former social media mutual had been posting more & more stuff that’s obviously destined for their spank bank. At first it was pinup photos or art, nothing too bad, and when it was fetish-y, it was pretty standard issue. But little by little, it got… weirder. It’s one thing to have a jones for fat people, but when the photos are all staged in ways where they look like headless beings of infinite stomach, it’s a little disquieting. And it seemed that roughly half of what they were sharing was wank material. It was annoying in that it should have been marked NSFW but usually wasn’t, but it wasn’t anything obviously objectionable.
Until… the diaper bondage playtime couple pic. A twenty-something sapphic couple where one is lustily looking at the other as she’s wearing an oversized diaper, a weird combo baby-sweater-slash-straitjacket, & a pacifier that’s large enough to be a gag. The staging, post text, & expressions make it clear that this is foreplay.
Now… look. I generally don’t kinkshame. You do you, so long as everyone involved in doing it is agreeing to it. But diaper & infant stuff is crossing a line, because when you try to figure out the appeal, everything is horrible. The least vile thing is “we’re so broken internally that we wish to return to an age when we were literally unaware of the world around us”, which I just find kinda tragic. How you can take that level of misery and turn it into a kink is… confusing. But the other interpretations? Okay, best of the worst case scenarios, you just like stewing in your own waste for some reason; this puts in the same “ew gross, but whatever, just don’t involve me” category as any other kind of scat kink. But then there’s the roleplay aspect: WHY do you want to be an infant, or want your partner to be an infant, in an explicitly sexual situation? Either you’re the toddler who wants to get violated, or you want to violate a toddler. I fail to see any kind of healthy, non-horrifying interpretation of this situation.
Needless to say, this has stained every single thing I see of this person & their posting. I used to be able to look at them and see a creative, frequently insightful person. Now? I see a gooner without decorum, someone who fits the odious conservative narration of escalating turn-ons due to overexposure, until you get something that’s psychosis at best & sublimated p*do tendencies at worst. The pictures of fat people without faces? Cuz you don’t want to think of them as people, only as bellies attached to bits. The near-constant protests against the shitty payment processor censorship efforts? Less for the sake of free speech/creative expression and more cuz you don’t want the tap turned off for your increasingly alarming wank fuel. Even looking back, before the payment processors started censoring anything with “fantasy” in the description, you can see where they went from being pretty normal to “sex is the only & ultimate definition of one’s humanity”. As a sex-neutral aroace, you can imagine how I feel about that kind of sentiment. It’s really stung to see someone you thought was a smart, interesting person and realize that they’re, for lack of a better term, fucked up from terminal porn brain.
And in the midst of this experience, I had another thought. When, exactly, did it become acceptable to make sure everyone online knows about your sex life?
We aren’t talking about queerness or identity, because despite what people might think, queerness informs more than just your sex life. It informs your view of the larger culture and what society does or doesn’t prioritize (i.e. gender roles, monogamy, procreation, hierarchy of social bonds, that kind of fun stuff). We’re talking about “here’s what I like to masturbate to, I view it as being as foundational to my worldview as any religion or philosophy”. We’re talking the kind of stuff that, should you start shouting about or showing off in a public venue like a train station or the middle of a Costco, you would get alarmed looks at best & kicked out at worst.
Like, the internet is a public place. This was understood for years, and it was assumed that, should you want to talk about your “me time” fantasies with others, you would do so at a place expressly dedicated to that. But with the advent of social media, suddenly this concept that some things should be silo’d away from your public persona kinda evaporated. Suddenly people decided that everyone needed to know that they’re turned on by balloons popping or have fantasies about taking a cheese grater to their or something else’s junk, and this would be right next to stuff about their everyday lives. Some places eventually created a culture of “don’t post anything that might get you fired if your boss saw it”, but that’s about it.
I’m not saying that people shouldn’t post about these things, but I AM saying that they should apply some “public space” rules that they’d use for in-person behavior. You wouldn’t be walking randomly around a Walmart and then start shouting “man, I really wish I could get vored right now”, provided that you didn’t have some sort of disability that hindered that level of situational awareness. (No, an ASD diagnosis from Dr. Buzzfeed Quiz doesn’t count.) You wouldn’t be shocked if someone got a public reputation as a freak if they decided to wear their puppy play gear (with… strategically located zippers) every time they went out grocery shopping.
Yet, online you’re expected to… just roll with it. That there’s something wrong with you if you don’t want to be inundated with other people’s personal kinks. If you so much as ask for things to be marked “adult content” or NSFW so you can not have it show up on your screen while you’re working, that’s treated as no different than the censorship efforts. And if you look at someone wishing they could pretend to do unspeakable things to a toddler with a dirty diaper with anything but enthusiastic support, you’re basically a Puritan. You almost start to understand the whole “we’ve gone too far” rhetoric, because some people really don’t know or want to learn when something just shouldn’t be shared with the world.
It’s just a frustrating situation. It seems that my ex-moot has decided to embody every single scare-mongering situation regarding obsessive horniness (from escalating kinks to “omg u prudes” reactions to others’ understandable requests to tag their NSFW as such), and their shares make it clear that explaining to them that they’re not helping their case against actual objectionable censorship with their behavior is just gonna be talking to a wall. I just wish that people would re-learn the concept of decorum online, since all of this could have been avoided if ex-moot & several other people had kept their “naughty nursery” nonsense to themselves. But they didn’t, and now I can’t look at them without thinking so much less of them.
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Video recommendation time: on “shut-down” phrases and how it’s helped kill any kind of creative or critical thought.
“If we encourage people to keep their mouths shut and smile when they don’t like something, we end up creating echo chambers where no complex discussions exist around the art being put out.” I FEEL that quote in my bone marrow.
The domino tip to me doing this and cutting back on social media was such a reaction. The art in question, itself, on its own introductory path as designed by its creators & insisted by its acolytes, was something that I straight up did not like. Hell, I HATED it. It went beyond “dated” humor into being outright offensive, and its dominant tone was that of spite & condescension. But apparently, by NOT watching the series in full multiple times after loathing what I had seen of it, by NOT considering apologies on Reddit for the offensive content enough to negate their continued & constantly excused presence, and by NOT ignoring the fact that its audience/creative team/financial backers have used it as a cudgel against other works & those that make/like them, I am too “fandom brained” to have any opinion on this “perfect masterpiece”. Even though I tried to give it the benefit of the doubt, even though every “clever” joke I see from it is cringe-inducingly juvenile and/or mean-spirited, even though I apparently can’t enjoy something that I actually like without y’all insisting that this is better so no one should want to bother with it again. (You can probably guess what it is if you’ve been paying attention.) It was the absolute nadir of “let people enjoy things” twisted into “enjoyment of these things is mandatory and any other reaction will be punished”.
But that’s not the first time. From adored-by-Tumblr comic writers on Twitter who vanity search & QT’d me so their fans could “correct” my statements (in one case, that the work itself was hard to connect to cuz the “strong female role model” lead was so very obnoxious), to web artists who will happily let their bestie be their personal attack dog & harass people who so much as vague post about them (with no one knowing it was the vague posting subject until they showed up), to just random fans who cannot form any sense of identity or self-image without attaching it to something that they passively consume, it’s EVERYWHERE. This attitude of “it’s not that deep” or “stop overthinking it” or “let people enjoy things” or “only Bad People would object to this work due to its theme” has done more to further erode any sense of curiosity and engagement with a work deeper than “I agree with this very obviously multiple-stated moral” or “I like this couple” than anything else. It’s been snowballing, too, thanks to sites like TikTok basically feeding on the absolute dregs of humanity in every category.
Is it any wonder, really, why so many people seem to be okay with AI slop? They already treat actual created-by-human-hands work as something that shouldn’t be talked about any deeper than “yay, I like that”. Whether they can’t or won’t articulate WHY they like it, or admit that there are things that they didn’t like, or just want to stymie critical discussion to feed their egos (Jeremy) or the egos of someone they’ve decided is their secret bestie, it all speaks of an eagerness to disengage with the humanity in any kind of creative work. Sometimes that means addressing the uglier sides of that humanity, be it ignorance or arrogance or outright nastiness. It’s just… too much for most people to handle. So if you’re unable & unwilling to engage with the human-ness of art, why not just cut that out entirely and get exactly the kind of Extruded Creative-Flavored Product that you want without having to think?
It’s truly a sad time if you like to think. Like, at all. And I don’t see it getting better any time soon. I WISH I could, but I feel like the correction point has long since passed.
(Also, largely unrelated, but if the creators of That Show mentioned above were still actively making it today, they’d never apologize for the homophobic & transmisogynistic stuff like they did, cuz it wasn’t so much that they realized it was wrong to include it but that the fanbase zeitgeist told them it was, so THAT’S why they apologized. Now, they’d probably just be full mask off, which would probably be better, since you’d have significantly less people trying to defend them & their gilded shit like you have now. Every time it’s brought up, this is my first thought, because it’s exactly what would happen. Like I said, part of acknowledging the humanity in a work is acknowledging that humans frequently are shitty & opportunistic.)
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Lighting-squared round! Cuz the alternative is shouting this nonsense at strangers.
God help me, I really like that new Linkin Park song. It’s very Val-coded.
Speaking of Val & her story, I swear I’m still working on it. I’m stuck in a setup chunk of the story that I keep scrapping cuz it steers into infodumping more than I’d like.
I keep seeing things rightfully decrying how dull & monotonous design has become, from brand logos to car colors to architecture. But there never seems to be any further pushback other than the complaints. Not sure what can be done, though, since every single food place deciding to look like a bank branch isn’t something that you can force a quick change from unless it’s caught early and all boycotts do is give the people doing them another reason to be smug shits about optional purchases.
Kinda weird that I’ve had 3 different YT channels being sponsored by 3 different mattress companies in the past week. One of which was talking about people who claim to have had sex with ghosts, so at least it’s on-theme.
Lostwave is the gift that keeps on giving. I am dying to learn more about who made “The Fall of the King”.
The answer to every video with a title like “Why Did The Internet Fall Out of Love With (insert celebrity name here)” is always “they didn’t share every single minute political position as their most vocal online fans”. Doesn’t matter what those particular politics are, that’s always the reason.
Tale Foundry is a channel that I have an increasingly love-hate relationship with, given that their insightful & interesting videos will be followed up with blithe praise of scumbag creators (Neil, JKR, that kind of “fair for the 2000s but now revealed to be a complete cretin” figure, and of course Ellison) and/or casual callousness (one on the “otherworldly power” of romance was both ignorant about aromanticism & weirdly rapey with its examples). The latest one I’ve seen, basically encouraging maladaptive daydreaming because it works out so well in fiction, is a good example of the latter category. It’s also showing how limited their reference pool is, since if you’ve read even the manga version of Umineko, you’d see a great example of why maladaptive daydreaming isn’t gonna help you or fix your problems in the end; yet let’s make sure we all reference the grown-ass people who face-plant while sprinting into a train station wall cuz they just really really want to see if Hogwarts is real as something cute & quirky. God, imagine how different that scene would have played out with the Tale Foundry approach: “I pray that you live as a human, so that you never need to become a witch.” “Yeah, but the witches are soooo cool!” “Did… did you miss the part that we’re all miserable and born from overwhelming sorrow and using this fantasy as an easy escape?” “Yeah, but… magic! And cool clothes!”
Wild that widely embraced quackery is how I learn that Tylenol & its generics are largely unique to North America.
It’s so disappointing when a YT video makes a really good point about a niche subject… but opts to use obvious ugly AI “art” for its visuals when stock images would have been easier & less hideous.
I omitted it in the part with the video recommendation, but I feel part of the whole “don’t think too much” trend is the whole “choose joy/focus on the positive” thing that I’ve seen online. Even with people that I can tell mean well & are trying to be genuinely optimistic, it takes on strong Helen A vibes. It’s so constant & so accidentally vapid that I can’t help but mentally respond “get bent” every time I see it. The only person I ever found who would come off as genuine saying it was Jim Henson, and y’all aren’t Jim Henson.
If you got the previous reference, hi. I, too, am old and extremely nerdy.
“Happiness will prevail! And stop doomscrolling!”
Knit Picks, why did you list off which yarns are gonna be in my mystery bags when the entire point of mystery bags is that you have no idea what you’re getting until you physically get it? I like what I’m getting, but that kinda misses the point of the practice.
The latest example of “this creator is so ~wholesome~ & family friendly and OOPS, they were just outed for doing something heinous” is only furthering my distrust of anyone who cultivates that very particularly online version of “wholesomeness”, since it’s so very easy to fake and is almost always covering for something terrible.
Related: There really is no more accurately named social media platform than Discord, because it certainly seems to sow it.
Everything about K-Pop Demon Hunters looks great, but it’s the whole “you’ll have to listen to k-pop” thing that’s stopping me. Look, I know I have jacked-up music taste (I listen to a good chunk of future funk & eurobeat), but I just can’t get into that genre. It’s a little too Extruded Music-Type Product for me, and it especially suffers from that “songs written based on popularity algorithm” trend with its actual composition. I appreciate the harmonizing of the singers & the choreography, but it’s just… not for me.
I like to think that the Rapture actually did happen, but the only creature on the entirety of Earth that qualified was one random squirrel, so we all just thought it hadn’t happened.
Horse-girl game update: Yay, I unlocked Gold Ship’s 3-star form… SWEET BABY JESUS, WHO GAVE THAT MANIAC A WEAPON FOR HER SPECIAL?! She’s gonna do Scorpion moves mid-race!
[checks online fandom venue] [sees only discussion is about shipping because of fucking course it is] [sees a discussion about something called a “zaddy”]
NOPE
Seriously, though, have I mentioned how much I hate that shipping has taken over any & all fandom discussions, to the point that creators cater to it deliberately & make it worse? I’d rather have outrage grifters than shipping, cuz at least they’re talking about something deeper than “who do I want to see making out”.
Related: I saw someone sulking about how Umineko isn’t worthwhile to them because there’s “too many official couples”, so there’s no room for them to string together ships. Oh no, the writer actually cares about making the characters fleshed out enough that their relationships matter & you can’t project your fantasies onto them! Clearly this means that the work is horrible and should never be read or enjoyed by anyone! (/sarcasm)
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“Alright, which one of you decided to ship me with GOHDA…?”
Oh FFS, they're trying to ban legal pot AGAIN?! Even my mom has discovered that CBD is good for her chronic pain and is cool with it! Turning it back now will go over about as well as Prohibition.
Me: “Man, nothing's sadder than a YTer who simps for BetterHelp.” Lady My Parents’ Age With A Yarnwork Channel: “Hold my subscription box full of stolen patterns & factory reject skeins…”
I hold no illusions of my writing being the most engrossing & artful prose ever, but I do feel like my refusal to indulge in and/or vocal distaste of shipping & (ugh, gag, shudder, wince) spice probably makes it easier for modern audiences to ignore. Oh well.
Moon Channel is looking at the current kerfuffle over Nintendo's new patents, the flaws in the popular reporting, and how they're most likely to be applied. Long story short, it’s hopefully not as bad as people are saying due to historical precedent. (Also, that Honkai pet game looks kinda fun.)
Gotta love when you follow something focused on one of your favorite characters (I refuse to say “comfort character” on principle but they’d probably qualify), and the first thing you see is a bad homophobic/biphobic herpes joke with them from a garbage show that people treat like a holy book. And by “love”, I mean “hate so much it justifies drinking on a weeknight”.
The sheer volume of online aces using the pushback on payment processor censorship as an excuse to go full pick-me and somehow blame the mere existence of any of us who just don't care for or about smut for it is gonna make my Ace Week entry extremely salty. I'm talking Bret Hart levels of salt.
And on top of that, Ace Discourse in all its hideous glory is making a comeback, specifically the “you're not ace, you're just (insert dismissal here)” variety. I guess people need an easy target cuz it's less work or risk than fighting actual problems just like it was back in 2018-2019, and it's well documented that the online ace community will never do shit in response except whine about being valid.
Horse-girl game update 2: King Halo’s mom is the WORST.
Apparently a whole big chunk of the smaller online yarn stores that I like are all owned by the same “investment firm”. To say I am concerned is an understatement. STOP TRYING TO TAKE AWAY MY YARN, VULTURE CAPITALISTS!
Juvenile & spiteful to do it, but I low-key hope that the two indie animators who are both terminally online get in a cold war over whose pilot/series becomes the topic that overwhelms all animation discussions like kudzu, thus driving away everyone but their most parasocial fans. Whether it happens or not, I'll be avoiding both to rewatch Punch Punch Forever.
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That’s all for this week. Instead of a cat picture, I’m including the picture of a remorseless thief who decided to start my weekend by stealing & destroying my prescription sunglasses because she was mad I was helping Mom cook instead of paying attention to her.
She doesn’t regret what she did, only that she got caught. BRAT!
See you all next week!
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